Yu Yu Hakusho & the Evil Toaster from Outer Space!
by Rubii-nya-chan99
Summary: Team Masho finds a package on their porch... Do they open it? What does it do? And whats with Jin's Toastaphobia? Read and Review and Find out! (Sorry. I suck at summaries.)
1. Chapter 1

Prologue:

Once again, a fellow fanficitoner has inspired me to write a story…. And my imagintation runs wild. Review, but no flames please. This is a NON YAOI story. Ill try to make this one better than my other two… Enjoy!

Chapter One:

DING DONG!

The doorbell rang throughout the entire house, causing all of the shinobi's ears to hurt.

"Oi! Touya! Be good lil' laddie and go and get da door…?" Jin called from across the room. He was smack dab in the middle of playing a very intense game of 'Sorry' with Chuu and Rinku.

Rinku laughed like a mad-man and slapped a card down. "GO HOME JIN! MUA HA HA HA HA!"

Jin cursed and moved one of his blue pieces back to his home. "Curse ya Rinku, why do ya gotta be so dang good at dis game?!"

Rinku beemed. "I dunnooo….."

Touya sighed and stood up, setting down the book he was reading. "Alright… good luck you two…."

Jin and Chuu made somesort of weird gesture and picked up a card, cursing.

He rolled his eyes and walked to the door, standing on his tiptoes to look out of the door. Seeing no-one, he cracked the door open and looked around. "Hello…?" He said, cocking and eyebrow. No one answered and there was nobody in sight. "Guess no one was there…." He closed the door and started to walk back when he heard the door bell ring again. And again. And again and again and again. He sighed and went back over, opening the door again. Still no one. He stepped outside and cupped his hands around his mouth. "IS ANYONE OUT THERE?!" He yelled.

"Down here…." Came a soft whisper from below him. "Down here Touya…."

Touya jumped and looked downwards, to see a light brown package at his feet. "What the…."

"Pick me up Touya…. Pick me up and bring me inside…." It whispered again, seeming to scoot towards him.

Touya shuddered and carefully picked up the package, walking inside. He shut the door and stood in the middle of the room. "Uh… guys…?"

"Wha's wrong, fella?" Chu asked, looking up from the board game.

"…. We got a package….."

Sazuka and Shishi walked into the room. "That's not so odd…." Shishi smirked. "We DO get mail from time to time…."

Touya shook his head. "No… this one's very strange… it… it talked to me…."

Everyone jumped up and ran over, their eyes wide. "What is it?!" Jin asked excitedly, his ears wiggling like mad.

"I don't know." Touya murmured, "I haven't opened it yet."

"Open me up, Touya…." The box whispered softly. "I have a surprise for all you…."

"Oh my God it DOES talk!" Rinku squealed, looking scared. He hid behind Chuu and peeped his head out from behind the Aussies leg. "HIDE ME FROM THE EVIL THING!"

"…. Should I open i—"

"OPEN IT!" Everyone yelled.

Touya nodded stiffly and opened the package to reaveal a-

WHOO. CLIFFHANGER! Which….. you probably all know what it is anyways. Please, R & R! It'll get funnier…. Please. Stay with me. I'll write summore chapters if I get any reviews. Thanks!

-Ruby-san


	2. Chapter 2: Enter Toaster

**Hey everyone! Ruby-san here, and I am happy to present to you…. CHAPTER TWO! Now, for all you people commented…. I LOVE YOU GUYS SO FREAKIN MUCH!**

**Anyway… THANKS FOR YOUR REVIEWS. I JUMP FOR JOY (literally) EVERY TIME I GET ONE! Okay… ON WIT' DA STORWY!**

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CHAPTER 2:

Toaster. In the box… was a big. Silver and red. Toaster.

"…. Itza toaster…." Jin laughed, his ears twitching up and down.

"Wow. Thanks for stating the obvious, Jin…." Sazuka rolled his eyes and crossed its arms.

"I'm not just any toaster!" The silver mechanism said, jumping from out of the box and onto the chair. "I'm the best toaster ever made, thank you very much."

All of them jumped backwards and Touya dropped the box. "What….. The….."

Suddenly, the toaster grew arms and pointed a finger at the ice master. "HOW DARE YOU CALL ME JUST A TOASTER! I AM THE BEST FREAKIN TOASTER EVER! YOU SHOULD ALL BE BOWLING HIM MY PRESENCE! I AM THE ALMIGHTY TOASTER IS WHAT I AM! AMAZING! INCREDIBLE! I CAN TOAST BREAD SO PERFECTLY THAT ALMIGHTY KOENMA WOULD PAY ME A MILLION FREAKIN SMACKAROO'S TO MAKE HIM TOAST." He spoke so loudly, that people in Darussalam (I have no idea where that is….) heard him and screamed, thinking they were hearing those insane little voices again.

Jin's eyes opened wide. "Toasters… make…. Toast….?"

"And Bagels, and Pop tarts, and English muffins… oh! And I can make those cute little toaster stroodles too….." The toaster said, counting off on its fingers.

The Windmasters mouth opened wide and let out a horrifying, high-pitched, Man scream. The frequency was so high, the Tipeania in the world heard at and freaked….** (Ever wondered why YOU never heard of a Tipeania? EXACTLY. BECAUSE JIN KILLED THEM ALL WITH HIS MAN- SCREAM.) **"NOT DA TOAAAASSSSSSTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT TTTTTTTT!" He then proceeded to huddle under the couch and whimper quietly to himself. "Not da toast… Not da toast….. Or da Muffins…. NOOOOOOO!"

"Now look what you did…. Jin's gone into shock again…." Touya sighed and brought his hand slowly down his face.

The Toaster gave him an odd look and shrugged. "Sorry dude…. Didn't mean to." He jumped on Rinku's head, and, out of nowhere, pulled out a piece of bread. "VOILA! YOU SEE THE BREAD, NO?" He smiled, and stuck the bread into the entrance place on the toaster. After about a minute of awkward silence, there came a loud POP sound, and 6 pieces of toast came out of the toaster. "AND HERES THE TOAST!"

He tossed out all of the pieces, which were labeled according to who the toast was made for. One for Chuu, Rinku, Touya, ShiShiwakamaru (Who shall be called ShiShi in the Fan fiction,) Sazuka, and Jin. Jin…. Well… just kind of sat there. Screaming like a scared child any time the toast came close to him.

Rinku picked up the piece and took a bite out of it, looking slightly curious. After about 10 rounds of chewing, he smiled as big as the empire state building. His eyes became small swirls and he looked slightly dizzy. "Its. Delicious…." He stated flatly. He had no emotion in his voice, and it appeared that his vocal chords had turned to metal. At least, that's what it sounded like. His eyes swirled again and he grinned. "Its. Delicious."

Everyone else suddenly took bites of their own pieces of toast, and the same effect went over all of their bodies. "Yummy. Toast," They all said together. "Yummy. Toast."

The toaster, who now wore a tag saying "Hello. My name is: Dictator Toaster of the Universe," Did a high pitched, mechanical laugh and threw his hands up into the air. "THE TOASTER APPOCOLIPSE HAS BEGUN!" He shouted, grinning from…. Side of metal to… the… other side of metal. "I SHALL NOW RULE THIS PLANET, AND SHALL START WITH ONE OF THE MOST POWERFUL TEAMS KNOWN TO HUMAN, DEMON, OR SPIRIT WORLD! TOGETHER, WE SHALL PAINT OUR NAMES IN THE MOON WITH JAM! COME MY MINIONS! COME AND LET US EAT TOAST!" He jumped onto Chuu's head, (Who had dropped his flask of vodka onto the floor and was now staining the carpet….) and did a small jig. "I'm gunner rule the worrllddd…. I'm gunna rule the wooorrlllddd…"

And with that, all five of the Shinobi warriors disappeared into the kitchen.

Seriously. The kitchen boarded itself up with sheets of Metal and spikes grew out of the doors.

And Jin. Poor little, toastaphobic, wind mastering Jin sat under the couch, still in an uncomfortable position, his eyes wide in horror. "….. I KNEW IT! I DID I DID I DID!" He declared, jumping up from under the sofa. "I ALWAYS TOLD ME MOMMA AND ME PAPPA, TOAST. IS. EVIL!" He fist pumped in the air, then stopped cold in his tracks. "I shouldn't be 'appy bout dis….." He mumbled, pacing. "I gotta find meself a way ta gets me friends back….."

Squeak.

Jin's head looked upwards and went onto a swivel. "What da he'll was DAT?"

Squeak, Squeak. "Hey Jin… Jin… Jiiiinnnnn…"

He squealed and looked around, finally finding a small bag of bread. Bread, Jin could deal with. Toast…. Not so much. "…. Are ya talking ta me…?"

Then, without warning, about 10 pieces of bread came out of the bag. "THANK GOD!" One called, looking like it was about to cry.

"You heard our plea!" Said another.

"HE IS OUR SAVIOR!"

Jin held up his hands in defense. "Wha? I didn't do nuthin!"

"You came to save us!"

Jin shook his head. "Sorry, lassy. All I want is me friends back….."

"I lost my wife is the peril…."

"MY HUSBAND IS DEAD."

"My brothers turned evil….."

Jin was finding this all too crazy. Bread? Talking to him? Must have been something he ate… "Look, I dunno whachall got wrong in yer wee lil noggins, but bread aint supposed to talk."

One of the larger pieces of bread cocked an eyebrow. "And… you can believe a talking toaster is going to take over the world?"

"…. Got meh. So… what gotchall werked up? Wha boutcher brother?"

A female piece of bread came out and cleared her throat. "That… evil toaster thing…. Took our friends and Family to make himself and army of toast."

"TOAST?!"

"Toast."

Jin shuddered. Who could make such and evil army?

"Anyway…" The bread continued. "All of us… Called the B.R.E.A.D.- Bread Rebellion against Evil Alien Dictators, have combined forces and found YOU to lead our army to victory."

Jin stuttered. "…. Why me?"

All the bread people shrugged. "Why not?"

He took a long time to think, and an even longer time to respond. But when he did, it was the answer all the little bread… things…. Wanted to hear.

"Okie Dokie then."

AND SO THE BREAD REBILLION BEGAN!

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**FIN! With this chapter, any who. **

**This is a totally random fan fiction… I know. And some of you may like it; some may think it's totally annoying. I don't really care. But, you should let me know by pressing that little button down there. *point point* you can tell me how you feel about my story…. Heh….. **

**Anywayz, talk to you soon! I'll try to come up with chapter three as soon as I can. Hope you liked! Read and Review! And Review! Because I love all you people that did review….. Heh. X3**

**-Ruby-san**


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